The sting returns (and is one-sided)

Ouch!  It really hurt to leave my son with Marie this morning.  He had a huge smile on his face and I could tell he wanted to play.  I know he is too young to particularly care whether he is playing with me or Marie (or a stick, probably), but the sting was there nonetheless.  It was today's sting that made me realize that most of the bad feelings that surround being a working mom are really self-imposed.  My son is happy at his daycare.  He is thriving and learning and growing so fast.  He is not hurting when I walk away in the mornings.  He is not sad that I am not there when he rolls over.  He is certainly not staring at photos of me all day, pining to hold hands.

For now, anyway, the sting is one-sided and realizing that makes the sting subside a bit.  I love him so much, but I am working not instead of him, but for him.  I truly believe he will be proud of me for the work I do when he is older and I love that he might invite me along for career day at school with his daddy.  I think it matters that he knows women can make a difference in this world outside of the house.  I was reading to him a Richard Scarry book the other day, What Do People Do All Day?.  I read along as the book informed my son that Daddy Mouse bought Mommy Mouse a new dress because she did such a good job keeping the house clean.  (or something like that).  Um, no.  Adlib was required and my son will know, as the saying goes, that a woman's place is in the House... and the Senate.... and anywhere else she wants to be.